Saturday, October 29, 2011
Age 27 Should Be Interesting
New career path, new age, new home, what else is new? Whats new and good? I am on the road to a new and positive lifestyle. Healthy, balanced, sweet. Who am I kidding I ate 4 slices of pizza and 2 slices of cake today. I'm not that balanced and healthy, but I'm close enough I guess. I am definitely feeling less and less like hiding my abortion experience from others, and more and more like I want to share, and even possibly become a counselor one day, for women who need help talking about sh*t in general! As a "big picture" idea, that is something I am considering. I will look into it a little more, but it came to me the other day, and I thought, "why not?". I experienced a lot of crap, and maybe I can help some young girls/women out there who might not have anyone to talk to. I can really reach out and give some girls a chance to open up in a safe/neutral place and possibly prevent them from really hurting themselves. Hmmm.... Ok another journey might be opening up for me, we'll see where this takes me!
Friday, October 14, 2011
New Zip Code, New Thoughts...
So here I am in the apartment downstairs from my grandmother's house in a lovely suburban New York county where there are deer and chipmunks frollicking about the grounds.
Ok - well I am right off a main route through the county so it doesn't quite feel the way it sounds, but I have to say it is definitely lovely! And there are deer and chipmunks, I promise. Anyway I am here and I really am happy about it. My pets are settling in and adjusting to each other. My stress level has gone down drastically and my skin looks better because of it. The only problem is I haven't been back to my yoga class in about a month and I am disgusted with myself over this. I have 6 (paid for) sessions left in my package and I was doing so great! I don't know why I didn't push myself harder and finish! They never expire so its not a big deal, I can always go back there whenever I want to, but my mind and body feels like crap because I got lazy and overwhelmed. I need to get my ass back to a yoga studio and start stretching! I can always go to the free place in the city, or save money and get a package out here in the sticks. All I know is I feel amazing when I am doing it weekly so I know it works for me!
On another note, I started the online structured recovery group that I had previously dropped out of. One of the girls on the site gave me a little push and I decided to do it. It just started so we are basically just learning about each other and figuring out the forum and everything. I already got up to step 3 in the steps on my own, so technically I am ahead of the other girls, so I am just relaxing for a week or 2 until we are all on track together. I'm glad I am doing it though. I never got back to the church like I had wanted, so I don't feel so bad now that I have my focus back on the whole situation. I know I can get back to the church whenever, but have been feel guilty about not getting there for the anniversary. There was just so much happening I couldn't make time. Well now that things are quieting down slightly, I can get my focus back on what is important to me and what is positive and healthy for ME.
This time of year is always interesting. Autumn, my birthday, Halloween, the cool weather coming in, the foilage. I feel pretty good during this time, the problems start around Thanksgiving because of the terrible family relationships happening around me. So for about 6 weeks I feel pretty good and I really enjoy the Halloween festivities and the pumpkin picking and hayrides. Until my mother says "so what do you want to eat for Thanksgiving?". I swear if she offers me turkey this year I am going to quietly get up, and leave. Simple as that. I also feel terrible knowing the the turkeys all over the country are being tortured as we speak just so that people can get their dose of triptophan or however you spell the crap in turkey meat.
Ok I am getting ahead of myself here. I'm sorry! I just haven't blogged in a while and have a lot to say! A lot on my mind! I am going to get out of bed now, have some breakfast and coffee and go upstairs to see what Grandma is up to today. Thanks for listening. I'll be back soon so that I don't get all crazy again...
Ok - well I am right off a main route through the county so it doesn't quite feel the way it sounds, but I have to say it is definitely lovely! And there are deer and chipmunks, I promise. Anyway I am here and I really am happy about it. My pets are settling in and adjusting to each other. My stress level has gone down drastically and my skin looks better because of it. The only problem is I haven't been back to my yoga class in about a month and I am disgusted with myself over this. I have 6 (paid for) sessions left in my package and I was doing so great! I don't know why I didn't push myself harder and finish! They never expire so its not a big deal, I can always go back there whenever I want to, but my mind and body feels like crap because I got lazy and overwhelmed. I need to get my ass back to a yoga studio and start stretching! I can always go to the free place in the city, or save money and get a package out here in the sticks. All I know is I feel amazing when I am doing it weekly so I know it works for me!
On another note, I started the online structured recovery group that I had previously dropped out of. One of the girls on the site gave me a little push and I decided to do it. It just started so we are basically just learning about each other and figuring out the forum and everything. I already got up to step 3 in the steps on my own, so technically I am ahead of the other girls, so I am just relaxing for a week or 2 until we are all on track together. I'm glad I am doing it though. I never got back to the church like I had wanted, so I don't feel so bad now that I have my focus back on the whole situation. I know I can get back to the church whenever, but have been feel guilty about not getting there for the anniversary. There was just so much happening I couldn't make time. Well now that things are quieting down slightly, I can get my focus back on what is important to me and what is positive and healthy for ME.
This time of year is always interesting. Autumn, my birthday, Halloween, the cool weather coming in, the foilage. I feel pretty good during this time, the problems start around Thanksgiving because of the terrible family relationships happening around me. So for about 6 weeks I feel pretty good and I really enjoy the Halloween festivities and the pumpkin picking and hayrides. Until my mother says "so what do you want to eat for Thanksgiving?". I swear if she offers me turkey this year I am going to quietly get up, and leave. Simple as that. I also feel terrible knowing the the turkeys all over the country are being tortured as we speak just so that people can get their dose of triptophan or however you spell the crap in turkey meat.
Ok I am getting ahead of myself here. I'm sorry! I just haven't blogged in a while and have a lot to say! A lot on my mind! I am going to get out of bed now, have some breakfast and coffee and go upstairs to see what Grandma is up to today. Thanks for listening. I'll be back soon so that I don't get all crazy again...
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